Home Spirit

In my commitment to cleaning the house I am rediscovering a connection that I had long ignored. I am meeting the soul of our home as if for the first time - discovering that this home has a gentle and loving spirit of it's own. In some ways it is distracting, because it makes me feel as if I need to do it all at once since I have neglected it for so long. However, we are coming to an agreement that I will only do what I can and keep working at it to bring our spirits into an alliance instead of being at odds with one another.

We are still in the lurking stages; the feeling that someone besides myself is thrilled to clean and unclutter and reorganize the areas I work on. The feeling that someone else (and no, I don't mean my husband or mom) is breathing a sigh of relief as I try to return order from chaos. Knowing that some things are happening faster than I can do on my own; that ideas are coming from outside of myself to try things that I otherwise would never have thought of.

I realized that this must be the spirit of our house (or at least the resident spirits) after reading a book I picked up at the Library called Spirit of the Home by Jane Alexander. Some parts of the book seem a little out there at first, but it all makes sense on a deeper level for me. Perhaps I will be able to write about this journey to befriend my house as I go on.

How Much Tea Can One Person Drink?

Does anybody realize how much tea a tea drinker can have tucked away in various cupboards?

A few days ago I went and cleaned out my tea cupboard to put everything in tins so that I can find them more easily. I was amazed. I suppose that it complicates things that I also blend my own teas, and so have little bits and bags of that around as well. I now have a lovely bamboo box filled with bags of my own blends and a tray containing at least ten tins of various teas that I have, at one time or another, carefully chosen to add to my stash. Not to mention a small box of single teabags of varieties I have wanted to sample. Much of it had been forgotten, lost on a shelf behind other spices and cooking needs and I was only thinking about a small amount of what I had. This opens up the cupboard for things that need to be stored together and also creates a beautiful array of different teas that are easily looked over to find just the right flavor for each moment.

Tea party anyone?

Seeking Balance

I've been dodging lately. Obsessing, perhaps.

I avoid my computer to get started on home projects and just don't manage to make time to write. Somehow this is supposed to make me feel better, working exclusively on my nesting. In reality it is creating some imbalance in my life - I miss writing as a way to help me process what is going on in my life or environment.

This is becoming especially important as I make changes in my home environment to improve the way the energy moves and how "at home" we feel here. I've been researching feng shui with my mom, and while it feels great to be studying something, however informally, I am missing the processing piece.

So I am back to trying to find a regular schedule for writing here and in my private journal. Seeking balance in all things.

The Love of a Cat

He crawls into my lap when I sit down, his presence announced by the prickle of claws through whatever I am wearing. It takes a while to settle in and he will turn himself around once or twice before deciding to see if I will let him rest in his favorite spot. Slowly he snakes himself up my torso, purring, until his front paws reach my shoulder. If my shirt is thick enough I barely notice that his claws are holding onto my shoulder as he finds his happy place. Sometimes I have to rearrange those little needles so they don't hurt quite so much, but unless I am busy I will let him stay for a while. With his haunches in my lap and the rest of him spread across my upper body he sleeps and purrs. It makes me think of a small child - that look of supreme contentedness on his face as he sprawls across me, sleeping.

Soon, my feet are falling asleep or I need to reach for something or I move for some other reason and he awakens. His first effort is to dig in the claws and not be dislodged. If that won't work (it doesn't very often since I prefer not to be completely perforated with claw marks) he will shift to my lap before giving me a disgusted look and settling elsewhere for his nap.

I admire the trust my cat places in me, and I am reminded that it is the kind of trust I need to place in God at all times. I am dislodged from my comfort zone, moved into a place I might even resent, but I will always return to the heart of my heavenly father where I am held in loving arms and comforted. I may want to punish God for moving me, for placing me in situations where I am uncomfortable, awkward, and unhappy, but in the end I know where I am safest and happiest.

Shifting Sands

It has been searingly hot and dry for the past week or so, peaking around 109 on a regular basis. It makes getting a whole lot done rather difficult, as I can only work for a little while before I am forced to stop for water and to sit to regain my equilibrium. Mom came Thursday and Friday (even she thought it was hot, which is funny because she is always cold!) and has inspired a whole lot of moving and shaking around here. Fresh eyes and a fresh perspective on my issues. We are full of ideas and thoughts about what to move and how to maximize the storage I do have and how to make the best of awkward rooms, but until today it has been too hot to do much about it.

A fog bank is descending into our little valley - pretty uncommon here in the dry foothills, even if it is a regular occurrence just a few miles away at the coast. I love watching the tendrils of fog sneak past, as if bent on a secret mission. It may not become a full-blown London style fog, but even this much moisture is a blessing. The coolness it brings renews energy and drive. I am ready to do more moving and shaking.

A Visitor

I am finally realizing how much I have let slide in my home and for how long. It can be a bit discouraging, really, when I step back and look at what I have neglected and what it means that I have to do to "fix" it.

Today my mother is coming to my house to brainstorm with me. I still have a ton of basic clean up to do (just letting her come over today is difficult, since I don't want anyone to see the state of things...) but we are hoping that getting some ideas down of where I want the house to go in terms of decor will help me stay motivated through the tough parts. She has also developed a fascination with Feng Shui, and it seems to help her not only stay motivated with the picking up (not that she really had a problem with that to begin with) but also helps her to see the positive things that happen more easily.

I just hope that she can help me to see through the boxes that have been on my floor for months while I have been too depressed (and too overwhelmed by the mess!) to take care of putting them away.

One of the things I am hoping that she can help me with is creative storage ideas. Our house came with a lot of things, but storage space wasn't one of them. I keep running into this as I work on picking up and putting things away. There is a reason I haven't kept up with it so well - there doesn't seem to be anywhere to put it! So the boxes stay on my living room and kitchen floors, the computer stuff proliferates across the guest bed in the office, on top of the crochet projects that I finally have a place to store but now can't seem to get to. I'm guessing that I'll be looking for some large baskets and other dual-purpose furniture as I go along to help with the storage stuff. Not to mention even more decluttering!

Birthday Thoughts

The morning is quietly full of birdsong and the sun is rising strong, though it will still be pleasant for another hour or so. My flowers and seedlings are thriving in the long angles of morning sunlight, reaching for the sky in their many ways.

This seems to be a morning for reflection. Especially since yesterday was spent with my nose in a book! For my birthday this past weekend my parents gave me a beautifully bound book that contained both Wicked and Son of a Witch. I finished it last night. Yes, I read quickly. Yes, I enjoyed it thoroughly. But reading and immersing oneself in a world outside of one's own does not generally make much time for appreciating the everyday world around you.

Another year older (but I can't really tell) and another year wiser. I have no grand ideas this birthday about what the future will hold for me. I have no grand plans to go overseas, get married (I'm quite happy with my husband... and don't really want that stress again!), or anything else unusual. My plans for this new year in my life are to relish the simple pleasures, rediscover who I am and what makes me happy, and to live into the truth of what I learn about myself and my family.

I am looking forward to this simpler journey. I have wonderful companions on the trail with me and a heartfelt desire to be as true to myself as I am to them.