Running Around

I seem to have disappeared for a while. I am simply on a mission - make it through the busyness of the next week or two. As happens every now and then in spite of our best efforts the cottage dwellers are slaves to the calendar, with very little time at home. I see an end in another week or so. Thank you for being patient - I am sure you are more patient about this than I, who have been having moments of near meltdown because I just want to be home for more than a few minutes at a time right before running out of the door or falling into bed. I keep telling myself it will end soon, and to put my heart into what I have been called to do that is keeping me so busy.

The Gift of Writers Block

I have been struggling for the past couple of weeks with writers block. I was supposed to be writing a talk that I will give for the first time tomorrow and for the "real deal" a week or so after Easter. But this is not just any talk. This one is about study, and it has forced me to look at my life in new ways.

I hadn't realized just how deeply my study has affected my faith, or even how deeply study is a part of my life. I just live it. I am always on the lookout for where God is going to surprise me with a little love note and teach me more about Himself.

In some ways writing this talk has shaken me to my core. It has made me see where God found me to bring me home when I thought that he had turned away from me. I suppose in some sense it explains a bit why I feel as though I live somewhere outside of the mainstream and why I am so quick to find theological implications in just about everything.

For the next few weeks I will be practicing and perfecting this talk, looking ever more deeply at what God is telling me through the words that He has given to me to share with others. It can be a bit disconcerting to discover something so profound hiding somewhere in oneself. But I hope that I will continue to find new expressions of God's love wherever I look for them.

Herbed Sugar or Salt

Today truly feels like spring here in my little corner of the Wild Wood. The surrounding hills are green, every tree has leaf buds if it isn't in full leaf, and the birds are singing for all they are worth. Even the breeze seems gentler.

My thoughts are turning back to the garden and finding the right herbs, vegetables, and fruit to grow this year. One thing that I am looking forward to is making more infused sugar and perhaps even salt from herbs that I grow. It is quite a simple thing that can make a huge difference in the end product. I simply take a reasonable handful of herb, for example a bunch of about four or five stems of rosemary about five or six inches long from my spring trimming, put it in a jar with enough sugar to cover, and shake occasionally to distribute. As the rosemary dries the leaves will fall off of the stems and I can sift the sugar or not as the recipe dictates. I currently have rosemary, lavender, and vanilla sugar; but am thinking about adding a citrusy herb to the collection - perhaps lemon balm or lemon verbena, or even lemon thyme.

The process for infusing salt is the same, simply chuck in whatever herb or blend you want to flavor with and cover with salt. As the sugar or salt is used up simply add more to the container. If you find the flavor fading add more herbs. It really is quite a simple way to add to your own signature to the dishes you prepare.

Either the sugar or salt you infuse can be substituted in any recipe for the unflavored kind. I especially enjoy making shortbread or pound cake with an herbal sugar - often not even sifted - which really creates a suprising note of difference to something incredibly simple. My favorites so far are shortbread with lavender sugar and a little lemon zest and a dense pound cake style loaf with rosemary sugar. Little packages of sugar with a packet of tea makes a delightful personal gift, as would a jar of either sugar for a baker or salt for someone who loves to cook savory foods. Include directions for replenishing as it is used up and you have given a useful gift that will continue to give for many years.

Moving On

When we fall, as we always do, we pick ourselves up and start again. And when our trust is betrayed the only response that is not destructive is to trust again. Not stupidly, you understand, but fully aware of the facts, we still have to trust.

- Dr. Austin in The Young Unicorns by Madeleine L'Engle

I would think that I've had enough people betray my trust in serious ways that I would learn to cope. To reach for the grace that will allow me to move on and not wallow in the hurt. Somehow I still haven't learned that not moving on will hurt me more in the end than the original betrayal of trust.

Perhaps it is something in me that is susceptible to that wallowing in abject hurt, that does not allow me to remember how to laugh in the face of what, in the end, was not meant as anything personal. I extended the trust, I felt the hurt, I will pick myself up and not trust quite the same way again. The sun still shines on us all, and I very much doubt that the other person even realizes that a trust has been broken.

Today I learned to move on yet again. I let the wind play with my hair and laughed as it skittered around me. I let the sun warm my face and the flowers just starting to peek out bring a smile. I made the choice to not let this disillusionment destroy anything but my illusions.

It feels good to laugh.

Storm Clouds

Have you ever had someone do something that broke your trust in them? I'm sure all of us have. Lately I've been grieving the loss of trust in someone, and realizing that I am of a sensitive enough nature that it takes more time than some for me to "get over it". I keep wondering what I could have done differently, said differently, to have made the betrayal not happen. In reality there is nothing that I personally could have done differently, but it doesn't take the sting away.

Perhaps my brooding comes from a deeply feeling nature that has always been a peacemaker. I would much rather sit down with someone over a pot of tea and repair a relationship than let it go. Unfortunately I have learned that sometimes that makes things worse. The second betrayal always cuts deeper, somehow.

So I brew my own pot of tea, perhaps a nice healing infusion of chamomile, lavender, rose, and lemon balm, and set out to nurture my own heart. Time with my journal and a good book, perhaps a nice long, soaky, hot bath, and maybe even some baking, and I'll be back to my usual peaceable self soon.

Recent Projects

Things have been busy here at the Cottage. A while back I promised pictures as soon as I figured out how to get them out of my camera. (Sometimes I have to remind myself that technology is a friend) and here they are:

These two are baby blankets I made for family friends who have had babies in the last couple of months. The star was especially difficult for me because I kept losing count of my stitches, but it turned out great!

From left to right, above: Ruby Grapefruit Marmalade (my first attempt at a jelly of any sort), Lemon Curd, and Pickled Beets. All homemade, and all delicious!

Two hats that I have made recently. The top one is now on the head of a friend from choir, and the bottom one matches a coat that belongs to my godmother. I have had a lot of fun with hats and have made quite a few. I just don't happen to have pictures yet!

I love the way hats and baskets (another crocheting love of mine) grow so organically from the yarn choices I make. Lately I've been playing with some lovely yarns - wool, alpaca, blends with wool and silk... enough to make me dive into a basket of yarn and stay there!

The animal yarns (alpaca, wool, etc..) are especially fun because I can felt the finished product and change it's character even more. Many of my bowls, baskets, and bags are felted because it also makes the end product stronger and more durable.

Eventually I want to open an Etsy store, but am always looking for people who are interested in having unique custom pieces made for them. Until my store is ready, if you are interested please contact me and I would be happy to work with you on colors and give you a quote on the price.

A Good Afternoon

Don't you just love it when you are handed the gift of time for re-creation and your favorite way to enjoy it? I had a lovely day with no obligations, quite a blessing after a week of running hither, thither, and yon and staying out late, with another week of the same staring me in the face. The sun was shining beautifully on the cottage this morning, and after doing some much needed catching up on keeping things tidy I settled down in a sunbeam streaming across the couch with beautiful music playing, a lovely scented candle, and a book.

I have to admit, it probably wasn't the book I would have originally chosen. It had been passed to me by my parents, who have both read it. My dad can't stop talking about it. Pastors in the area have scheduled entire three-month sermon series around it. My boss raved about it. A local seminary even hosted a community discussion night around it. Everywhere I go, I run into it. And after reading the back and having so many people tell me how absolutely wonderful and potentially life-changing it is I decided that I didn't want to have anything to do with it and would wait for the hype to die down before I read it.

Perhaps this was a bit perverse of me. I'm not the kind to bow to pressure about what to read - usually. For heaven's sake, my other current book option is an obscure English book about the changes in a town as it moves from being a collection of homes to being a real town! Do I really want to read a supremely popular book in the height of it's popularity that includes a healthy dose of absolute, gut-wrenching tragedy and the potential to change my life? I'm reading to relax, here. I'd given a half-hearted reading to the first two chapters so that I wouldn't be lying when people asked if I was reading it yet. But today I took the plunge. I picked up that copy of The Shack that was sitting reproachfully on the table and I read it.

I will admit that it struck a nerve, and will probably change some of the way I see my life and my relationship with God as I move forward and continue to digest the things I read. I see the potential for this to touch so many more lives than most people imagine. It is the opposite of so many things I was expecting from the hype, and that is a very good thing. Will I push people to read it? Perhaps. I know that it has reached deep into my own places of hurt, places where my relationship with God as I thought I knew it had been destroyed a long time ago. It holds an affirmation for me of my own healing, and I am sure it will hold the same for others.

Either way, it was a wonderful afternoon, and I pray that you have one that feeds you the same way soon.