Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Storm Clouds

Have you ever had someone do something that broke your trust in them? I'm sure all of us have. Lately I've been grieving the loss of trust in someone, and realizing that I am of a sensitive enough nature that it takes more time than some for me to "get over it". I keep wondering what I could have done differently, said differently, to have made the betrayal not happen. In reality there is nothing that I personally could have done differently, but it doesn't take the sting away.

Perhaps my brooding comes from a deeply feeling nature that has always been a peacemaker. I would much rather sit down with someone over a pot of tea and repair a relationship than let it go. Unfortunately I have learned that sometimes that makes things worse. The second betrayal always cuts deeper, somehow.

So I brew my own pot of tea, perhaps a nice healing infusion of chamomile, lavender, rose, and lemon balm, and set out to nurture my own heart. Time with my journal and a good book, perhaps a nice long, soaky, hot bath, and maybe even some baking, and I'll be back to my usual peaceable self soon.


Bri Schaaf said...

Bless your heart!
I completely understand your feelins in this matter.
Like many of us tender heated people, dissapointment and broken trust seem to hit us where it hurts the most. Find stregth and fortitude in the loving arms of Christ.
I try to take a deep breath, count to ten, pray, and find the nearest tissue box!

Karinann said...

Do everything Bri Schaaf said and then after some time has passed you may want to consider this suggestion. I heard this as part of a parish mission. E-mail, call, write a letter to whoever this peron is simply stating that you are not sure what has happened (or maybe you do) but that you are grateful for the time you have both been given in each others lives. End by wishing them well. If this is done with no expectations, it brings a sense of closure and peace. This is for you-not the other person. The memories of that person are now seen through the lens of love. Again you may want some time to pass before attempting this. But I speak from experience- it works.

Anonymous said...

It's wonderful to know you grew up reading Dale Evens Prayer book. Maybe I saved it from the heap pile, posted it, and you found it so that God could encourage you right now when you need it. YOU are a child of God, He loves you and cares for you. As far as those who are untrustworthy, well, they just are. I'm praying for God to send you an incredible Godly friend who you can trust. HUGS OOOx

P.S. And if that other person hurts you again you can barrow my baseball bat.