Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Wishcast Wednesday

Today's Wishcast Wednesday question is What do you wish to share?

I wish to share the deep peace that comes from knowing that you belong somewhere, and that that somewhere loves and supports you in every way. Everyone needs a place of their own where they go to heal from life's daily events and from the bigger stuff that happens. A place to experience the soul-deep comfort of being exactly who they were meant to be with no judgements, masks, rules, shouldn'ts, or put-downs. A spirit home. A healing sanctuary.

I may not have it yet, but I am getting there, and I want to share the joy of knowing that there is that kind of belonging out there somewhere for each of us. My calling at this moment is to seek out and create my place so that I can help others find theirs.

If you would like to know more about Wishcast Wednesday or to join in, visit Jamie Ridler Studios.

Friday, September 25, 2009

A Visit from Ms. CrankyPants

Somewhere between blissfully nourishing my plants this morning as the sun rose and checking the water level in the humidifier as the heat outside increased Ms. CrankyPants moved in. I didn't see her coming until she embraced me with her whining and sense of utter frustration. Nothing sounds interesting, I don't want to do that, or that, or that... or go out, it's too hot to do that, I don't want to eat that (never mind that eating anything at this point might make her go away). I am left with a vague sense of irritability and a general feeling that a childish temper tantrum is imminent along with dissatisfaction with life as a whole that makes me quite unpleasant company, even for myself. So I am going to take Ms. CrankyPants on a field trip. Drag her out of the house, put her in the (admittedly hot) car, and go somewhere. Perhaps I will treat her to a Caffeine Free Diet Soda and distract her while I try to lose her out there in the world. I certainly don't like her here in my house! Of course, that may be because with her here the walls feel as if they are closing in on me and I just have to escape even if I don't really want to go out into the heat and unpleasantness of the weather today (one of her excuses for being cranky is the heat...).

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wishcast Wednesday

Today is Wishcast Wednesday over at Jamie Ridler Studios... and the question is What Luxury do I Wish for?

I wish for the luxury of being confident in my gifts and the direction in which my inner guides are leading me. I long for the luxury of not being afraid of what others will think if I am truly myself. I seek the luxury of standing solidly in my soul and not hiding the truth of who I am.

Most of the time I am afraid to talk about the things that fascinate me, light me up, set me on fire because so often I am greeted with blank stares and swift changes of subjects. Occasionally I have let things slip in "wrong" company and been informed that I am under the influence of "evil" and to "repent" of my "wicked" ways. So for a long time I have tried to bury my gifts: energetic healing, creating sacred space, supporting others so that God/Spirit/Universe/Energy (whatever they choose to believe in) can make them as whole as they will allow themselves to be.

I wish to not hide anymore. I wish to not be afraid to be my most authentic self.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Home Spirit

In my commitment to cleaning the house I am rediscovering a connection that I had long ignored. I am meeting the soul of our home as if for the first time - discovering that this home has a gentle and loving spirit of it's own. In some ways it is distracting, because it makes me feel as if I need to do it all at once since I have neglected it for so long. However, we are coming to an agreement that I will only do what I can and keep working at it to bring our spirits into an alliance instead of being at odds with one another.

We are still in the lurking stages; the feeling that someone besides myself is thrilled to clean and unclutter and reorganize the areas I work on. The feeling that someone else (and no, I don't mean my husband or mom) is breathing a sigh of relief as I try to return order from chaos. Knowing that some things are happening faster than I can do on my own; that ideas are coming from outside of myself to try things that I otherwise would never have thought of.

I realized that this must be the spirit of our house (or at least the resident spirits) after reading a book I picked up at the Library called Spirit of the Home by Jane Alexander. Some parts of the book seem a little out there at first, but it all makes sense on a deeper level for me. Perhaps I will be able to write about this journey to befriend my house as I go on.

Monday, September 14, 2009

How Much Tea Can One Person Drink?

Does anybody realize how much tea a tea drinker can have tucked away in various cupboards?

A few days ago I went and cleaned out my tea cupboard to put everything in tins so that I can find them more easily. I was amazed. I suppose that it complicates things that I also blend my own teas, and so have little bits and bags of that around as well. I now have a lovely bamboo box filled with bags of my own blends and a tray containing at least ten tins of various teas that I have, at one time or another, carefully chosen to add to my stash. Not to mention a small box of single teabags of varieties I have wanted to sample. Much of it had been forgotten, lost on a shelf behind other spices and cooking needs and I was only thinking about a small amount of what I had. This opens up the cupboard for things that need to be stored together and also creates a beautiful array of different teas that are easily looked over to find just the right flavor for each moment.

Tea party anyone?

Seeking Balance

I've been dodging lately. Obsessing, perhaps.

I avoid my computer to get started on home projects and just don't manage to make time to write. Somehow this is supposed to make me feel better, working exclusively on my nesting. In reality it is creating some imbalance in my life - I miss writing as a way to help me process what is going on in my life or environment.

This is becoming especially important as I make changes in my home environment to improve the way the energy moves and how "at home" we feel here. I've been researching feng shui with my mom, and while it feels great to be studying something, however informally, I am missing the processing piece.

So I am back to trying to find a regular schedule for writing here and in my private journal. Seeking balance in all things.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Love of a Cat

He crawls into my lap when I sit down, his presence announced by the prickle of claws through whatever I am wearing. It takes a while to settle in and he will turn himself around once or twice before deciding to see if I will let him rest in his favorite spot. Slowly he snakes himself up my torso, purring, until his front paws reach my shoulder. If my shirt is thick enough I barely notice that his claws are holding onto my shoulder as he finds his happy place. Sometimes I have to rearrange those little needles so they don't hurt quite so much, but unless I am busy I will let him stay for a while. With his haunches in my lap and the rest of him spread across my upper body he sleeps and purrs. It makes me think of a small child - that look of supreme contentedness on his face as he sprawls across me, sleeping.

Soon, my feet are falling asleep or I need to reach for something or I move for some other reason and he awakens. His first effort is to dig in the claws and not be dislodged. If that won't work (it doesn't very often since I prefer not to be completely perforated with claw marks) he will shift to my lap before giving me a disgusted look and settling elsewhere for his nap.

I admire the trust my cat places in me, and I am reminded that it is the kind of trust I need to place in God at all times. I am dislodged from my comfort zone, moved into a place I might even resent, but I will always return to the heart of my heavenly father where I am held in loving arms and comforted. I may want to punish God for moving me, for placing me in situations where I am uncomfortable, awkward, and unhappy, but in the end I know where I am safest and happiest.