There has been a great deal of growth happening here at the Cottage since I took a deep breath and hit publish on my last post. It seems as if that has opened a door for me to accept myself a bit more, to lean into the scary side of being the woman that I have been created and shaped to be.
It makes regular posting here a bit more difficult sometimes, as I know that early on what interested people was the writing of bits of everyday life at the Cottage. But everyday life here is taking dramatically wild and amazingly divine leaps and bounds daily now; the everyday commonplace is no longer the same old bits of garden, herb, and tea information. Is there still some of that? Sure (except perhaps the garden, which I have decided in this climate with our particular brand of totally stubborn soil is to be given over almost completely to succulents!). But there is more now, too.
I see more magic in life with my daily Reiki practice, with learning even more about tea and the beauty and health benefits it can provide, with opening my heart to allow myself to be the unique wild, holy, mystical, wise woman that I am. Of course, I have days when I forget that I am a goddess (one who is a female embodiment of the divine image), when I forget that the purpose of my life is to live my truth and by myself.
But the magic and the mystery of life is pursuing me forward into places where I am exploring and discovering new (to me) territory. Some of it is quite tender and difficult to share, some of it has been shared better by others in whose footsteps I am dancing. All of it incredible. And Beautiful.
So things may be changing on the blog over the next months as I get my bearings in the world that is opening up around me as I open my eyes and live into my truth. Bear with me.
Showing posts with label Reiki. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reiki. Show all posts
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Update for Friday
Just a quick update (unless I start rambling, which is a distinct possibility!) for today. It looks like posts will continue to be sparse around here for a couple of weeks longer, as I am preparing to undergo an MRI and Spinal Tap next week (Monday and Thursday). In the past I have not had a great recovery time for Spinal Taps - think 9-14 days flat on my back, unable to lift my head, with an agonizing headache - but have great hope that with this doctor and his understanding of the Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension recurrence that we suspect and are creating a baseline for diagnosis of things will go better. Also at some point in the near future I will be meeting with a surgeon to discuss the removal of my gallbladder, which is apparently quite full of some really nasty stones. The diagnosis is not new to me - I have known about having gallstones for 5 or so years now but have kept the attacks under control with diet and exercise. Unfortunately they have now grown to the point where that is no longer an option. Ugh.
With Lent being nearly over, I must confess that all of this medical stuff has been an important part of my Lenten discipline of taking steps on the path of learning to truly love myself. I find that I have neglected and denied my physical self and needs for so long that now I am paying the price. It seems overwhelming that it is all coming at once, but I know that having opened the door, everything is rushing in because my body can no longer prioritize the pain and needs that it has. Working slowly through this, especially with the use of Reiki, has been an amazing experience so far. Yes, I do still get really depressed about it. I have had my share of "if this is what I truly am, just take me out and shoot me now!" moments. In the end, I know that I will be healthier, clearer, wiser, and more compassionate. The journey, however, is not an easy one.
I find that in embracing the 21 day self-healing portion of my Reiki 1 training, I am getting a better grip of how the Reiki energy is working on me. I would have expected it to go to the physical level of the dis-ease that I am manifesting, but although I find that it has an effect on it, that is not the primary level of work. Neither is the emotional level, though it has done wonders for me at that point. The energy seems to be working at the very deepest spiritual levels to find the lessons that I need to learn in order to not repeat these physical issues. Most of them are lessons that have appeared in my life numerous times. I would pat each issue on the head saying, "oh, look! I need to deal with (name the issue)! Isn't it cute?" and then shove it back under the rug and tell myself that I had dealt with it sufficiently. Hah!
While I believe that I must treat the physical illnesses, I do believe that there are deeper lessons and issues tied to them and that in order to heal these chronic issues I must work on the deeper levels even as I work on the physical level. It certainly isn't easy, and I find my dreams and unguarded moments full of thoughts of things that I had thought were long gone and dealt with. It can be very difficult at times, but I know that this time I am aware enough to take each one to God for counsel, learning, and ultimately, healing. I may not be strong enough to see or acknowledge the complexity and enormity of some issues, but I am doing what I can with what I have, and that is enough. God is with me and will give me what I can handle.
Enough rambling! Have a pleasant day, and I hope to be back soon!
With Lent being nearly over, I must confess that all of this medical stuff has been an important part of my Lenten discipline of taking steps on the path of learning to truly love myself. I find that I have neglected and denied my physical self and needs for so long that now I am paying the price. It seems overwhelming that it is all coming at once, but I know that having opened the door, everything is rushing in because my body can no longer prioritize the pain and needs that it has. Working slowly through this, especially with the use of Reiki, has been an amazing experience so far. Yes, I do still get really depressed about it. I have had my share of "if this is what I truly am, just take me out and shoot me now!" moments. In the end, I know that I will be healthier, clearer, wiser, and more compassionate. The journey, however, is not an easy one.
I find that in embracing the 21 day self-healing portion of my Reiki 1 training, I am getting a better grip of how the Reiki energy is working on me. I would have expected it to go to the physical level of the dis-ease that I am manifesting, but although I find that it has an effect on it, that is not the primary level of work. Neither is the emotional level, though it has done wonders for me at that point. The energy seems to be working at the very deepest spiritual levels to find the lessons that I need to learn in order to not repeat these physical issues. Most of them are lessons that have appeared in my life numerous times. I would pat each issue on the head saying, "oh, look! I need to deal with (name the issue)! Isn't it cute?" and then shove it back under the rug and tell myself that I had dealt with it sufficiently. Hah!
While I believe that I must treat the physical illnesses, I do believe that there are deeper lessons and issues tied to them and that in order to heal these chronic issues I must work on the deeper levels even as I work on the physical level. It certainly isn't easy, and I find my dreams and unguarded moments full of thoughts of things that I had thought were long gone and dealt with. It can be very difficult at times, but I know that this time I am aware enough to take each one to God for counsel, learning, and ultimately, healing. I may not be strong enough to see or acknowledge the complexity and enormity of some issues, but I am doing what I can with what I have, and that is enough. God is with me and will give me what I can handle.
Enough rambling! Have a pleasant day, and I hope to be back soon!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Happy St. David's Day
If you are Welsh you will know this as a day of Welsh National pride and history. If not, just sit back and enjoy the explosion of daffodil joy as we welcome March!
Yesterday I had a beautiful day getting my level 1 Reiki attunement. I am studying through Judy Knoll of The Healing Center of San Diego, who is an excellent teacher.
I am finding it hard to put into words what Level 1 has already done for me. My energy level is much higher than it has been, although my symptoms have not been completely alleviated. I came home last night and had the energy to stand in the kitchen with my husband, talking nonstop, while he cooked. I haven't done that in months. Lately it has been all I could do to sit quietly in my corner of the couch in our living room with the lights dimmed while he did the cooking. We laughed a lot - something else that has been missing from my life lately. I am also finding my outlook on life has improved. The depression that was weighing my spirit down has become a lighter burden to walk with.
In the coming days I will be journaling with this journey of developing my Reiki. There is a 21 day cleansing/opening/adjusting process as I give myself daily treatments and work on treating others. Most of the journaling will be private, but I plan on sharing a bit here, too. There is so much for me to learn, and I know that Reiki has much to teach me. I can feel the joy waiting for me to grow enough to embrace it fully.
And this morning the coyotes sang for me!
Yesterday I had a beautiful day getting my level 1 Reiki attunement. I am studying through Judy Knoll of The Healing Center of San Diego, who is an excellent teacher.
I am finding it hard to put into words what Level 1 has already done for me. My energy level is much higher than it has been, although my symptoms have not been completely alleviated. I came home last night and had the energy to stand in the kitchen with my husband, talking nonstop, while he cooked. I haven't done that in months. Lately it has been all I could do to sit quietly in my corner of the couch in our living room with the lights dimmed while he did the cooking. We laughed a lot - something else that has been missing from my life lately. I am also finding my outlook on life has improved. The depression that was weighing my spirit down has become a lighter burden to walk with.
In the coming days I will be journaling with this journey of developing my Reiki. There is a 21 day cleansing/opening/adjusting process as I give myself daily treatments and work on treating others. Most of the journaling will be private, but I plan on sharing a bit here, too. There is so much for me to learn, and I know that Reiki has much to teach me. I can feel the joy waiting for me to grow enough to embrace it fully.
And this morning the coyotes sang for me!
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