Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Wishcasting Wednesday - Fun

Today's Wishcasting Wednesday prompt from Jamie really hit me this morning:

What fun do you wish to have?

I went to sleep last night in the midst of a deep soul struggle, digging to uncover the root of my recent slide into yet another depression, realizing that this particular month holds a lot of historical wounding for me, yesterday the 1 year anniversary of the most recent, and I wake up to a question like this???? Who am I kidding, I just want to be a little less depressed than I was last night - I can't think about fun right now!

Then I realized that this is precisely when I should be thinking about fun. When it seems most absent from my life I need to cultivate it consciously and dive deeply into every hint of fun and joy that manages to swim through the miasma of depression that currently engulfs me. June reached out and swallowed me into a gulf of frustrated struggle with my history, some of it more on a conscious level, some of it not. The worst of it began 15 years ago and I am contemplating sharing that story here for others to learn from and to know that they can survive and thrive, too. But that is not really about fun. It is when I believe I lost my ability to trust that there was something in my life called fun. I am only recently rediscovering it.

My wish today, on this overcast and cloudy June morning, is to learn again the joy of having fun, to become friends with it and be able to embrace it back into my life as a constant companion instead of a rare visitor. To see and enjoy fun in my daily life instead of looking back and wondering "was I having fun?" at the end of the day.

14 comments:

Jane said...

Thank you so much for this wonderful post this morning. I too have lost the fun and have given in to the dark clouds of worry and anxiety. You are absolutely right...this IS the time to dig deeper and look for all the fun and joy we can find. As you wish for yourself today, I lovingly wish for you too!

Ruth said...

Ground down through your feet, connect to the earth, take a deep breath and fun and joy will be there to be found. As you wish for yourself on this funfilled day, I wish for you also.

Sarah said...

As Sulwyn wishes for herself, I wish for her also.
Aw hon....as I read this I could just feel how deep this goes for you.. the pain and broken trust. May you find joy and lots of fun hon...I so want this for you...to feel joy at the end of your day. Maybe in the beginning just a bit of feeling satisfied that fun came to you...bit by bit.
Hugs and love, Sarah

ABCcreativity said...

powerful.
as sulwyn wishes for herself, so do i wish for her also.

Jo Anna said...

Be gentle and kind to yourself. Sending you lots of light and love.
As Sulwyn wishes for herself, I wish for her also.

gina said...

I hope you can push aside the gray clouds and find a little sunshine! As Sulwyn wishes for herself, I wish for her also.

Ginny said...

As Sulwyn wishes for herself, I wish for her as well. At lunch today I was sharing some of the things I learned from today's question and what you wrote is exactly what we talked about. It is so important to look for the fun in each day especially when we are down. I have found the more positive moments I find, the more positive moments I continue to find. Being part of Jamie's Happy Book blog on Friday and sharing my happy moments each week has really been helpful.

Kim Switzer said...

This is so true--the depression times are when we need to seek fun. Thank you for pointing this out! I so needed to hear that.

As Sulwyn wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.

KathrynAntyr said...

As Sulwyn wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. I know how fun can feel so distant when feeling so broken. May you taste happiness and joy each day. Be gentle and kind toward yourself. I'm sending you some warm, fuzzy, soul hugs today.

Cindy Jones said...

I'd love to read your story. As Sulwyn wishes for herself, I wish for her also.

Beverley Baird said...

As Sulwyn wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

May laughter and fun and joy fill your life!

Sarah Lulu said...

I have many times been in that space you find yourself in ...

FUN is an action ....

Dare you ...take step ...do anything....

Depression is a space you must MOVE out of ...means action too.

SO much love...

As Sulwyn wishes for herself I so lovingly wish this for her also. xx

Lucy Ladham-Dyment said...

As Sulwyn wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

BunnyKissd said...

{{{HUGS}}} As you wish for yourself, so do I too wish for you. Find that fun!