Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Path Ahead

The sun is warm on my shoulders as I stand, contemplating the beauty of the single rose on my bush as it blooms. This double blessing - the sun and the rose - are my total focus for the moment, and I am content. Sometimes it takes a serious trauma of the heart to make us remember to see the wonder in the simpler things. The trauma is still there, I will continue to deal with the fallout of lies and betrayal on a daily basis as I move forward, but I can start to see the beauty and the hope.

I wish that I could say that I am thankful for the hurt and for the way I have been moved forward to lean even harder on God than I have in a long while, but I can't. Not yet. I have to take this thing one day, one moment, at a time. I will pick up some little bit of something out of the muck, rub at it a little to find what it once was and will be again, decide if it is something I want to keep or let it lie in the refuse of the path I am walking and move on. If it is something valuable enough for me to keep, I will use my rags to clean it off before putting it into my bag and moving forward. It is hard work, this particular growing edge. But I walk it with companions who have been here in their own way and are standing on the other side to offer me hope and support as I need it. My husband, family, and friends offer me what strength they can and the gracious gift of their prayers. It will be enough to see me through.

In the meantime I am thankful for my single rose and the warmth of the sun on my shoulders.

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