Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Dust and Reminders

I sometimes forget how wonderful it is to work with someone on a project. I have loner tendencies, exacerbated by a sort of perfectionism and a perverse need to say that "I did it all by myself" that can undermine my efforts at teamwork. Helping my mom this week with her projects has been a reminder to me that I don't always have to do it all by myself.

It is a lesson I am slowly learning in my marriage as well. I still love the sense of accomplishment that comes from completing a challenging (to me) project. But I am not weak or wrong to ask for or admit that I need help. This is a major lesson for me, especially as I am dealing with my ongoing depression. I don't have to face the isolation alone. I have my amazing, loving, supportive, awesome, encouraging husband at my side and my parents and friends a phone call away when I am trapped in my downward spiral or the bottom of the pit that I wake up in. I am not alone.

God, of course, is always with me. In that sense I am never alone. God has given me these people, this family, to embrace me with human arms when God's spiritual arms aren't physical enough to keep the darkness at bay. I also forget to look. I can't always find God when I am in the midst of the darkness, and I wander in a barren land wondering where He is. So He comes to me in the faces and arms of my family.

So much to learn from a few days of dusting and running errands with my mom. So many blessings showering down on us.

1 comment:

deb said...

so much to learn , and then you teach - blessing to you on this continuing life journey