It just keeps coming...

... and I am still busy as a bee. Actually, that is a pretty strange analogy to use for someone who is allergic to any and all bug bites but especially to bee stings. Bugs aside, I have been preparing in a whirlwind of activity for a new event that my church is holding this weekend. The MayFaire Market will be open at All Souls' Episcopal Church in Point Loma on Saturday from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can find more information at this link: http://www.mayfairemarket.org/

Catching Up

Okay. We've survived several weeks and weekends now of non-stop motion. I have managed to complete three shawls during the car time and other bits of otherwise lost time in between while I waited for someone or something. I'm calling it quits if this pace doesn't slow down sometime soon!

On the good side of this busy-ness, I've been able to explore all kinds of neat places that I would ordinarily never have found if it weren't for these unusual travels. Yarn stores up and down the coast, flower fields, strawberry fields, beaches, all kinds of fun and exciting nooks.

I still think I'd love a stretch of time just to stay put and take care of the cottage, which is woefully neglected these days. My garden is still full of weeds and completely unplanted - I just remind myself that this season my planting may not be in vegetables, fruits, or herbs but it is in kindness and goodwill. I hope that satisfies me when the tomatoes are in season and I don't have any home-grown ones of my own to devour!

I look forward to returning to a somewhat regular schedule of posting here. I've missed this little community.

Running Around

I seem to have disappeared for a while. I am simply on a mission - make it through the busyness of the next week or two. As happens every now and then in spite of our best efforts the cottage dwellers are slaves to the calendar, with very little time at home. I see an end in another week or so. Thank you for being patient - I am sure you are more patient about this than I, who have been having moments of near meltdown because I just want to be home for more than a few minutes at a time right before running out of the door or falling into bed. I keep telling myself it will end soon, and to put my heart into what I have been called to do that is keeping me so busy.

The Gift of Writers Block

I have been struggling for the past couple of weeks with writers block. I was supposed to be writing a talk that I will give for the first time tomorrow and for the "real deal" a week or so after Easter. But this is not just any talk. This one is about study, and it has forced me to look at my life in new ways.

I hadn't realized just how deeply my study has affected my faith, or even how deeply study is a part of my life. I just live it. I am always on the lookout for where God is going to surprise me with a little love note and teach me more about Himself.

In some ways writing this talk has shaken me to my core. It has made me see where God found me to bring me home when I thought that he had turned away from me. I suppose in some sense it explains a bit why I feel as though I live somewhere outside of the mainstream and why I am so quick to find theological implications in just about everything.

For the next few weeks I will be practicing and perfecting this talk, looking ever more deeply at what God is telling me through the words that He has given to me to share with others. It can be a bit disconcerting to discover something so profound hiding somewhere in oneself. But I hope that I will continue to find new expressions of God's love wherever I look for them.

Herbed Sugar or Salt

Today truly feels like spring here in my little corner of the Wild Wood. The surrounding hills are green, every tree has leaf buds if it isn't in full leaf, and the birds are singing for all they are worth. Even the breeze seems gentler.

My thoughts are turning back to the garden and finding the right herbs, vegetables, and fruit to grow this year. One thing that I am looking forward to is making more infused sugar and perhaps even salt from herbs that I grow. It is quite a simple thing that can make a huge difference in the end product. I simply take a reasonable handful of herb, for example a bunch of about four or five stems of rosemary about five or six inches long from my spring trimming, put it in a jar with enough sugar to cover, and shake occasionally to distribute. As the rosemary dries the leaves will fall off of the stems and I can sift the sugar or not as the recipe dictates. I currently have rosemary, lavender, and vanilla sugar; but am thinking about adding a citrusy herb to the collection - perhaps lemon balm or lemon verbena, or even lemon thyme.

The process for infusing salt is the same, simply chuck in whatever herb or blend you want to flavor with and cover with salt. As the sugar or salt is used up simply add more to the container. If you find the flavor fading add more herbs. It really is quite a simple way to add to your own signature to the dishes you prepare.

Either the sugar or salt you infuse can be substituted in any recipe for the unflavored kind. I especially enjoy making shortbread or pound cake with an herbal sugar - often not even sifted - which really creates a suprising note of difference to something incredibly simple. My favorites so far are shortbread with lavender sugar and a little lemon zest and a dense pound cake style loaf with rosemary sugar. Little packages of sugar with a packet of tea makes a delightful personal gift, as would a jar of either sugar for a baker or salt for someone who loves to cook savory foods. Include directions for replenishing as it is used up and you have given a useful gift that will continue to give for many years.

Moving On

When we fall, as we always do, we pick ourselves up and start again. And when our trust is betrayed the only response that is not destructive is to trust again. Not stupidly, you understand, but fully aware of the facts, we still have to trust.

- Dr. Austin in The Young Unicorns by Madeleine L'Engle

I would think that I've had enough people betray my trust in serious ways that I would learn to cope. To reach for the grace that will allow me to move on and not wallow in the hurt. Somehow I still haven't learned that not moving on will hurt me more in the end than the original betrayal of trust.

Perhaps it is something in me that is susceptible to that wallowing in abject hurt, that does not allow me to remember how to laugh in the face of what, in the end, was not meant as anything personal. I extended the trust, I felt the hurt, I will pick myself up and not trust quite the same way again. The sun still shines on us all, and I very much doubt that the other person even realizes that a trust has been broken.

Today I learned to move on yet again. I let the wind play with my hair and laughed as it skittered around me. I let the sun warm my face and the flowers just starting to peek out bring a smile. I made the choice to not let this disillusionment destroy anything but my illusions.

It feels good to laugh.

Storm Clouds

Have you ever had someone do something that broke your trust in them? I'm sure all of us have. Lately I've been grieving the loss of trust in someone, and realizing that I am of a sensitive enough nature that it takes more time than some for me to "get over it". I keep wondering what I could have done differently, said differently, to have made the betrayal not happen. In reality there is nothing that I personally could have done differently, but it doesn't take the sting away.

Perhaps my brooding comes from a deeply feeling nature that has always been a peacemaker. I would much rather sit down with someone over a pot of tea and repair a relationship than let it go. Unfortunately I have learned that sometimes that makes things worse. The second betrayal always cuts deeper, somehow.

So I brew my own pot of tea, perhaps a nice healing infusion of chamomile, lavender, rose, and lemon balm, and set out to nurture my own heart. Time with my journal and a good book, perhaps a nice long, soaky, hot bath, and maybe even some baking, and I'll be back to my usual peaceable self soon.