Today's Wishcasting Wednesday question from Jamie Ridler is quite thought provoking:
What rules do you wish to make or break?
I have been doing a lot of listening to New Thought teachers and reading books and articles that stress the importance of the story I tell myself as I am working on my recovery, which has led to a lot of listening to my inner dialogue - and can I just say that after that, it's no wonder I am prone to disabling depressions? Yikes! So my primary wish is to break the rules that are in my head that make it difficult for me to know and be the person I know that I was born to be. Perhaps that sounds a bit vague, but it is amazing how many "rules" I have in my head and in my heart about what I can and cannot be, do, say, or anything else.
I suppose the best examples are recent ones, and over the course of the last week or so my mom has been coming over to help me clean and organize. We've been working in the kitchen and dining area, and as we empty cupboards to change around their contents I hear things in my head like "why are you bothering? It won't stay this nice for more than a few days since you are a worse housekeeper than Grandma Grace" and "look at this mess! You are just not meant to have anything nice because you can't keep it that way!". Of course, there are excuses, too: "it got this way when I was so caught up in depression and illness" and my favorite "I'm not the only one in this house!". So my rules have included such things as: if I can't keep it perfect I don't deserve to have it, or even have "close enough"; it is all someone elses fault if it isn't "just right"; I'm never going to be able to do it "right" so I'm a failure before I start. What a lovely group of beliefs and rules to live by, right? No wonder I have issues with getting trapped in depressive cycles!
So I wish to break the rules of paralyzing perfectionism, self-doubt, shame and lack. I wish to replace them with the gentler and more loving "rules" of do/say/be it anyway, self-love, joy and abundance. I wish to live by the rules of who and what I was born to be and not what has been imposed from outside to make me into something I am not.